In Tune With Wade

Yeehaw!

PALMETTO - Manatee County's army of country music fans will be in hog heaven. A venue much bigger than your average honky-tonk will soon welcome folks to line-dance, enjoy their favorite singers in concert and even ride a mechanical bull.

Clear Channel radio station WCTQ (106.5) announced late Wednesday its new partnership with the owners of El Sombrero in Palmetto (pictured) to launch what is tentatively named The Hall. The country nightclub is scheduled to open Sept. 15 at 1330 U.S. 301 N., making it just a five-minute drive from downtown Bradenton.

WCTQ will throw its hoedowns every Friday, and there are also plans for boot-scootin' bashes Wednesdays. The Hall hosts its first big-name concert when Keith Anderson, the Oklahoma ladies' man responsible for the current hit "Every Time I Hear Your Name," comes to town Oct. 20.

Click here to continue reading my story that ran on the front page of today's Herald.

In honor of this new hoedown destination here's my list of

Top 10 Things You Will Find Opening Night at The Hall in Palmetto

1. Cowboy boots

2. Cowboy hats

3. Wrangler jeans with "Skoal rings"

4. Spit cups

5. Pick-up trucks with rifle racks

6. W. bumper stickers

7. Platter-size belt buckles

8. Denim skirts

9. Feathered hair-dos

10. Me

WHAT DID I MISS?

Getting all wet at Hooters

Being the prolific, multi-skilled journalist that I am, yours truly chipped in with a news story that ran several hours ago at HeraldToday.com

Here it is:

MANATEE - When you think of a wet T-shirt contest, guys are typically not the first thing that comes to mind. Especially when the event is scheduled to take place at Hooters. But this wet T-shirt will be the reverse of the usual.

The Hooters girls get to pour the ice cold water over fellows outfitted in skimpy white T-shirts on Friday from 5-7 p.m.

Country music radio station WCTQ (106.5) is sponsoring the contest that will net the winner tickets for the Toby Keith concert on Saturday at the Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa. For more details, go to www.wctq.com or tune into 106.5 for Sammy Cruise's program that runs every weekday afternoon from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.

The Herald's Weekend section on Thursday includes interviews with Keith and Lindsey Haun, who will join him on stage and co-stars with him in the movie "Broken Bridges" that is scheduled to hit theaters Sept. 8.

Having a Hooters girl pour ice water over my barely clothed torso sounds appealing. But I already have my name on the press list to cover the concert. What would you do for free Toby tickets?  Eat one of those nasty concoctions they down on "Fear Factor"?  Take a walk around downtown in your bathrobe? Play tonsil hockey with your hated ex?

Confession time: What would you do for free Toby tickets?

Joyland gets booted

Joyland Country Nightclub will end its 10 year run on Sept. 9. Click here to read more. A complete story will run in the Wednesday edition of The Herald.

Click here to read about my last visit to Joyland.

Thoughts on Joyland closing? Let's hear 'em.

Dylan sounds delightfully old and wise on 'Modern Times'

On "Modern Times," Bob Dylan sounds like a sagacious old codger who just descended from the Appalachian Mountains. He searches for a woman like Alicia Keys, confesses to a pile of sins, sympathizes with the plight of the working man and shakes his head at the current state of the world. There's humor to be found, but it's the Kurt Vonnegut variety — dry as Monument Valley.

Well, there's the raw lede to my recently completed review of the new Dylan album that came out today. I was able to get my hands on a copy Monday afternoon. After spinning it about three times in a row while doing laundry and such I sat down to bang out my thoughts on the laptop, and played it some more during the writing process, which seems to take longer than it should lately. 

Dylan's "Modern Times" is captivating. Timeless. Fans of "Time out of Mind" and "Love and Theft" won't be disappointed. Like its two predecessor, "Modern Times" is a disc that disillusioned souls looking for honesty and gallows humor will be returning to for generations to come.

To read my complete/final review of Dylan's "Modern Times" pick up the The Herald on Sunday and flip to the A&E section.

Full disclosure: I put Dylan's previous album of new material, "Love and Theft," at No. 1 on my Top 10 list of 2001.

Watch the the video for "When the Deal Goes Down," the first single off "Modern Times." Doesn't Scarlett Johansson look perrty?

Heard the CD? Whatcha think of it? Whatcha think of Dylan in general?

Bubblegum battle

I'm neither ashamed nor exactly proud to admit I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon with the CD "25 All-Time Greatest Bubblegum Hits." It played while I perused the thick Sunday newspapers and checked for updates on our new little friend Ernesto.

The collection features songs from The Golden Age of Bubblegum (late 1960s to early 1970s). These are tunes that were aimed squarely at white pre-teens. Most of the music is corny, cloying and in the case of "Indian Giver," definitely politically incorrect by today's standards.

However there are gems.

Namely, "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies, a cartoon band that predated the Gorillas by more than three decades. The song is a sheer joy, a stick of bubblegum that retains its flavor like something from the factory of Willie Wonka.

Same goes for "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tommy James and the Shondels. An undeniably catchy and rather passionately sung ditty that reminds me of skipping class with Mary my senior year of high school — heh heh.

"Sugar, Sugar" vs. "I Think We're Alone Now:" Who's the big winner?

What are some other bubblegum greats?

Who's that lil' gal with Toby Keith?

That's what concertgoers will be asking when Lindsey Haun steps on stage with Keith at the Ford Amphitheater on Sept. 2 to perform her new single "Broken." The 21-year-old actor/singer/songwriter will then be seen co-starring with Keith when their new movie "Broken Bridges" hits theaters on Sept. 8. Her beautiful single "Broken" is from the movie's soundtrack album that drops Aug. 29.

Keith on Haun: "She's dynamite. She's the only name people won't recognize when they see the movie credits but she's great. People should go to see the movie just for her, in my opinion."

Haun on Keith: "I was so nervous at first ... But when I get on stage I just look at Toby and he makes me feel so comfortable and the audience make it so easy. The first night I was nervous but that went right out the window."

To read my separate interviews with Keith (he talked about everything from what goes on in Willie Nelson's trailer to the Iraq War) and Haun (she also has a cute Willie story) pick up the Aug. 31 edition of The Herald's 'Weekend" section.

Listen to Haun perform "Broken" by clicking here.

Potential hit? I think so.

Get your motor runnin'

In honor of Bradenton's most fun and affordable bash, Heatstroke Hot Rod Hoedown No. 4 (pictured) taking place on Saturday, here's a list of Top 10 Road Songs.

Top 10 Road Songs
1. "Born to Be Wild," Steppenwolf
2. "Maybelline," Chuck Berry
3. "Hot Rod Lincoln," Commander Cody
4. "Midnight Rider," The Allman Brothers Band
5. "Truckin'," The Grateful Dead
6. "Drive My Car," The Beatles
7. "Little Deuce Coup," The Beach Boys
8. "Racing in the Streets," Bruce Springsteen
9. "Mighty Big Car," Fred Eaglesmith
10. "Rearview Mirror," Pearl Jam
BONUS TRACK: "Backseat Driver," The Downshifters

WHAT DID I MISS?

Click here to read my column about 'Heatstroke' that ran in today's Weekend section of The Herald.

IMMEDIATE UPDATE: Thanks to Features Editor Chris Wille a major mistake was just caught. How the hell did AC/DC's killer anthem "Highway to Hell" not cross my mind?

Bob Dylan vs. Jessica Simpson

Bob Dylan interviews are rare. So rare, that when His Royal Bobness makes an innocuous comment about the dearth of great sounding records in the digital era his words get taken out of context and it causes a huge fuss online.

No matter.

Dylan interviews and Dylan controversy means a new Dylan album is on the horizon, and for us Dylan geeks that is an extremely good thing.

The latest from Rock's Poet Laureate arrives in stores Aug. 29. Another big release comes out that same Tuesday ... Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair." Granted, there's probably not one soul in the whole wide world who will go into a record store Aug. 29 requesting copies of both discs. But, this coinciding release date begs the question: Which album will chart higher?

"Modern Times" is Dylan's first collection of new originals since "Love and Theft," which came out the same day of the World Trade Center tragedy and reached No. 5 on the Billboard 200. Simpson's last non-Christmas release, ""In This Skin," hit No. 2 on the same chart in 2004.

Because I'm crazy like that, I will go as far as to predict "Modern Times" will be Dylan's first No. 1 album since "Desire" topped the chart in 1976.

Click here to read an excerpt from the Dylan interview that will be in the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone.

As the hype grows around the new Dylan release, check for updates at the excellent fan site ExpectingRain.com

Dylan vs. Simpson: Who will come out on top?

Paris is burning my ears

Paris Hilton is here to usher in the Apocalypse ... I'm sure of it.

When she first burst out of her clothes and onto the scene we all thought it would be the proverbial 15 minutes, a flash in the pan of pop culture. We expected Paris to smile, strip for the cameras and then slither back into the world of absurd wealth only known by the scions of shipping magnates and hoteliers.

But no.

Thanks to "reality television" and the same studio trickery that keeps Ashlee Simpson from singing off key, Ms. Hilton scored a hit single recently with "Stars are Blind."

Hilton's new album, so cleverly titled "Paris," was released today. Hopefully, it will crash and burn like a New Kids on The Block reunion tour. But don't count on it.

Paris Hilton is here for a reason ... And the Four Horseman probably aren't too far behind.

Click here to gawk at the devil's Paris' very own YouTube channel.

Up around the bend

Even a blast of Frank Zappa's frantic opus "Willie the Pimp" isn't working to improve my gloomy disposition.

Terrorists trying to sneak liquid explosives onto passenger planes. Continued mayhem across the Middle East. Self-service gasoline at $3 per gallon.

It's enough to drive a man up a wall — or off a cliff.

To make matters worse, a remarkable concert hasn't been held south of the Skyway in what feels like years.

And that is just not right ... But there is hope around the bend.

Click here to read the rest of my Night Moves column that in The Herald on Friday.

WHAT UPCOMING SHOWS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO ATTENDING?